This entire time, it has had nothing to do with the past, but my subsequent future. The images remain fresh in this consciousness as I step through this portal of transcendence into the illuminated archaic abyss of being.
Busillis

Something felt wrong tonight, yet somehow it's a sign I'm moving out of my security blanket of familiar faces. I've got to break the tides of my ill habits as well the individuals whom will destroy my character and in the end be my downfall.

In 2009 the truth will be known. (116)
...be vigilant, subjective, see beyond the Words (seil eht).

I am lost deep beyond my own mind, torrents I see which transcend beyond worlds. Sadistic nature bleeds this mind for direction.

oh me oh my, and here the drama comes...

July 17-18 was the night of the crossed moon, the sun set crimson red and the star Antares laid occult behind our moon. At around midnight I witnessed Luna widely emanating the colour amber, encapsulating it a glowing halo, rimmed in a rainbowy veil whilst above my spectacles I saw that sacred cross. How perfect; two nights before the sacred summer solstice, and our crossed luna, a skirmish raged in Babylon giving blood to those evils high above. This druidic holiday for Idoneus Precelsus.

i slowly feel drama heading my way, oh man does my head hurt.

Recently I haven't been sleeping too well, it feels almost as though something is calling out to me telepathically in my sleep. Sleep feels so surreal, yet the mind feels so concentrated, though at the same instance lighter than air.

I've finally realize if I don't share my thoughts with people, and receive feedback I'll never be malleable enough to gain insight into the positive and negative aspects of my personality. I give to much the fuck about what I'm saying, and not how I'm saying it, so much has been excessively distorted, attempting to make myself like those around me when truthfully I can only be myself, (fucking run on sentences) all that I do is based around so little thought and never seeing the larger picture. Nothings ever been wrong with me sadly, I've been creating the entire problem all along, (wow it's nearly 5am in the fucking morning and my mom just got home, I hope she's not drunk...nope her friend is o.O). Anyway, simply put I give to much a fuck about shit, and I don't think shit in the right manner, I make up problems and excuses for myself to compensate for the lack of trust within, shit it's late, I need to go the fuck to sleep.